A simple kind of life

I live a simple kind of life. I live in a one bedroom apartment on a Native American reservation called Lac Courte Orielles near the town of Hayward, Wisconsin with my black cat Ouija. Hayward is a small tourist town for fishermen. It’s kinda a boring little town. Every morning when I get up I practice a Zen routine. I recite a vow, do nine prostrations, chant the heart sutra, meditate and study. Then I make coffee, feed Ouija and check Facebook to see what my friends are up to. They post alot of bitchy quips, in the form of memes,  that I’ve heard of before. My friends make my news feed a three ringed circus but I enjoy it none the less. I usually check into work. I work as a caretaker for an elder person. I do my job and head back home. Some days I visit my brother and play video games. Which I’m not too good at. Or I visit  my mother and best friend in what I affectionately call P-TOWN which is short for Popple Town. Theres alot of memories in Popple Town. A majority of my family lived there and I lived there most of my life. My two aunts, an uncle and my grandma. All who have passed away within a three year period. Even though it has been years later an empty space remains. Sometimes a simple life isn’t so simple. Part of life is accepting the things you cannot change and it’s no easy task. You sorta have to crunch all those negative feelings away in a safe place. Somewhere inside where they barely have the chance to arise again. One example is my step father, who I lived with for a short time. He would follow me every where in the house and nag about every little thing I did. He went as far as to take away the stove burners and coffee pot. So that I wouldn’t make a mess. I got tired of it and did the same to him. He got the point and stopped. I eventually moved out cause I couldn’t take it anymore. It was enough to make me hate him but my mother loved the guy so I had to make peace. Even though, still, when I visit I get the same kinda treatment. I crunch it down inside of myself and don’t let it bother me.  My friends ask how I do it? If it were them they’d snap and oddly I’m the only one who gets treated in such a manner. I quickly learned not to take anything or anyone for granted. For one day they will be gone. This thought can either be a relief and, or worrisome. It’s not easy excepting change but change is a normal thing in life and the more you refuse to change with change, the more you suffer. A simple kind of life involves a routine you normally do. A sense of normalcy appears from every day living. You develop expectations that go no farther then what your use to. But life takes your plans and throws them off a cliff and expectations lead to disappoinment. Unexpected visitors with both good and bad intentions slither into my life causing chaos. Death and other misfortunes like the ebbs and flows of the tides I endure both good times and hard times. The hard times; when I’m broke and begging for food to get by. The good times; where I can pay my way afford the little luxuries like candy or decent coffee. Finding peace in a simple kind of life is hard because life is too complex to be simple. You have to rejoice everything you do. No matter what the tides bring. Just try it for a day and see where it leads you.

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